Sep 8, 2010

food for thought

After reading this post from Lisa Belkin at the New York Times Motherlode blog, I was left with a huge, existential (for me) question:  where is the happy medium between giving everything for the ones you love and "pulling yourself up by the roots" while telling your loved ones to "find a new place to sit?"


  1. such an interesting article. I don't know that I even think about children's books this deeply. If Clayton likes it and it's fun to read, I don't mind. I just love that he likes to read.
    However, the question you pose, is one that has been on my mind lately. Mainly because my in-laws have a a son (not my hubby) who has pretty much allowed them to take care of his family for him. Long story short, 4 kids and 2 wives later, he is living at home with 2 of his kids and 2 of his wife's kids, not paying rent, not paying for anything he can possibly get away with. He is older than my husband, but has never held a steady job. When is enough, enough? When does it turn into enabling your children instead of loving them? I hope that I will continually teach my children how to prepare for the world. And if they choose not to make good decisions, I hope that they understand I will always be there for them, but will not always give everything. It's just not fair to the other children and grandchildren. If any of that makes sense...

  2. That makes perfect sense. I guess we are all trying to figure out how to give our kiddos a sense of security but also of independence. You want them to know you will always be there for them, but you also want them to do things for themselves. I want a middle ground to exist between enabling and tough love, I guess. Can someone please tell me where it is? :-)

  3. I think that is different for everyone ... no book for that, i'm sure!
    sorry, didn't mean to go on and on, on your blog! :)


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