Feb 17, 2011

confessions of an over-sharer

I am an oversharer.  I put it all out there and sometimes I say too much. 

Whew...glad that confession is out of the way...

I'm a confession wimp because this is so obvious.  You have to be a bit of an oversharer to have a blog.  I mean, here I am, putting all kinds of stuff out on the internet for the whole world to see.  I guess I have assumed from the beginning that I would have a small blog and that not that many people would want to read it.  What's so interesting about me anyway?  *crickets*chirp*chirp*

Actually, I generally consider the oversharing to be a mostly positive quality.  I have nothing to hide really.  I have written about topics on the old blog that would seem pretty personal and not always pretty (like postpartum depresssion, my messy house, my bad taste in music, my sewing attempts and fails, you get the idea), but I don't want to have a blog that is all rainbows and gumdrops because that's not true to life.  There are plenty of funny moments and embarrassing moments and that-is-just-so-sweet moments, but things are not always rosy.  The oversharing is not just limited to the blog though.  I have been known to give away the gory details of labor and delivery (all moms do this though, right?  I will admit that I rather like hearing other birth stories) or to describe my stretch marks in WAY too much detail.  I figure that it's better to be a real person than a perfect person, especially since I would fail miserably at the latter.

There are times when oversharing becomes diarrhea-of-the-mouth.  It's like I can't stop myself from saying a certain something, even though I know I might be misunderstood or that I am giving too much information.  It's like when someone says "Hi, how are you?" and you want to give the real answer, even though you know she doesn't really want to hear it.  I did it today, sort of by accident.  I didn't mean to go into so much detail, but I couldn't stop once I started, and I knew that the person I was talking to had not bargained on getting all that.  What's worse is that I sort of unloaded some things that bring up bitterness, and I hate that bitter feeling.

So I walked away feeling dumb for talking too much and bitter/angry for talking about it.  Ick.  I began to wonder why I said what I said and whether openness is really a good thing.  Maybe I should keep some of this to myself.  After all, it's possible that other people just don't want to be burdened with my baggage.  On the blog, they can just click the back button, but in real life, I guess it would be hard to tell me "shut up, I don't care" or "this is more than I want to know about you." 

Do I need to keep more to myself, become a more private person?  How much are you comfortable sharing?  What do you do when you feel like you said too much?

9 comments:

  1. This is a real struggle for me. I think that everything that I say is important and useful (until later, that is). I know I totally overshare! And I don't think I used to be like that. It's got to be the mommy thing! I'm following a series called the "Counter Cultural Woman" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and I just listened to this topic yesterday. It may not be exactly what you were talking about, but it was very relevant to me.

    http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=9538

    On another hand, I love your blog and all your "openness," and I love a good birth story (with as much detail as possible) as much as I love sharing my own:)

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  2. Jessica, this is so funny. I am exactly the same way...and it's only because of your openess that I realize I'm not alone! I always feel like I said too much, and let it bother me for way too long after the fact. I wish everyone was this open though, cause then we wouldn't have to worry about it, and we'd all be a lot less self conscious about the things we're too scared to talk about. Am I making sense??

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  3. Your life is very interesting and your sharing of the events of it (the good, the bad and the ugly)just make you and your life all the more precious to those who love you and to yourself. Openness is nothing to be ashamed of. I love your honesty and willingness to share your successes and failures (few though they are :)
    Love you,
    Bitsy

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  4. Oh Coop--your people, those of us who love to talk to you, really appreciate your openess. I always like talking to you and I feel like you share because you know we "get" it! I appreciate that and people who don't share make me nervous. Keep talking and don't worry--if it's ever too much the people who love you will tell you.

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  5. I did the exact same thing today when a co-worker asked me how I was...ugh! You are not alone. I think I am a closet over-sharer. It comes from always being told I am too quiet when I was a child. Now when people bring up something that I can relate to, I dive right in with all the details instead of asking them to further elaborate on their own experience. Anyway,I wrestle with it to..how much is too much? But I do think overall it is better to be an over-sharer than an under-sharer :) I have enjoyed your blog very much since I found it.

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  6. I overshare too! I've been trying not to but it's hard...I usually don't realize it until it's too late!

    I came by from FTLOB:)

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  7. @Krista: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoy reading; it means a lot to me!

    @Candice: I love listenting to you too! Your kid stories always crack me up! I'm your people too!

    @Kerri: You make perfect sense! Now that it's all out there, you and I won't have to be self conscious anymore! So, I guess that means nothing is off limits...that makes things scary for sewing club!

    @Kimberly: I read some the transcript at that link, and I needed to see that. I think part of the reason I worry about saying too much is that I don't want to engage in idle talk. Thank you for passing that along!

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  8. Stopping by from FTLOBs blog hop and I am glad that I did. I love those girls for providing this wonderful venue to find great blogs like yours!

    I often overshare too. Poop? the gyno? stinky feet? yep, I have diarrhea of the mouth as well ... I like to make people laugh and I love to tell a story --- I like to think that "over"sharing keeps us spunky and interesting!

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  9. Omg, this is so me. I'm totally an over-sharer...and I love it! I also love reading about other peoples lives...people are so interesting...

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