Balance is probably always going to elude me because the pendulum is always swinging, usually in the opposite direction of where I want it. There are times when I simply must put more energy and time into my one hundred and twelve students. A grading period is about to end or a stack of essays was just turned in. A new unit of study is about to begin. Or all of these things are happening at the same time right now.
However, I know that when I throw myself into my work too hard, I get angry and resentful. Why should I focus so much on other people's children? What about my own? What about my husband? What about the piles of laundry and the layers of dust? I should be able to just do what I have to do. I mean, the school year has ended for me eight times, and I have always met my deadlines. Why should I think this year will be different?
I have decided that this year will, in fact, be different. Everything will get done at work even if I don't stay until after 5. Because there are two sweet babies who really want to come home and play in the yard for a bit before dinner. And I want to make that happen for them. And for me.